How do you feel abundant when your usual income disappears? Mama to two Emily Titmus shares her story of reconnecting to simple abundance.
Take us back to when your journey with simple abundance began – what was your life like, and how did Mamahood fit into that?
Before I had children I took for granted how abundant life was. I’d been brought up in a family where we had everything we needed and extra in the bank. I had a solid working life before I had children right into my 30’s.
When I became a Mama in my early 30’s the cracks in my money mindset started to show up. I started to get really worried about money. Would we be ok, would we make ends meet? I lost control of my financial independence and was reliant on someone else to take care of me, I felt out of control and uncertain of the future.
For a number of years even though we were working hard things would crop up time and time again that would set us back. It got to the point where I was so exhausted from trying so hard, we were arguing all the time and I worried for our marriage, or I would just cry myself to sleep. I used to say “this is all just too hard” with sleepless nights and working so hard during the day, we were both exhausted, overwhelmed and really worried about our future, we didn’t know how much more we could cope with.
As much as I tried to save and be frugal, it wasn’t making any difference, I shopped at the op shop, I scrimped on the groceries, I tried to divvy up the money and made so many sacrifices there just weren’t any more to make. I hated walking to the mail box to get the mail, I was stressed just thinking about it and used to avoid it for days. Knowing there was going to be something that was overdue or worse. It made me sick to think about it, it still does.
We used to joke that we were living on love!
You spent a lot of time actually spending less, growing more, and honouring the abundance already in your life. What was that like? And what did it teach you?
During this stressful time, I learnt so many incredible lessons. There is something about living on love that makes you honour simple pleasures such as that beautiful artisan sourdough that you splurged on at the farmers market, sometimes I just couldn’t resist, so I would buy it and take it home and set it on a chopping board and I just loved the way it looked in my kitchen, I would make some soup and we would really enjoy that beautiful bread.
Over the last 2 years I’ve been really working on my mindset in what started as part of my personal development for my new business, what I realised was that over the last 8 years I created the whole experience with my worry and anxiety, I gave so much energy to our struggle and stress I just created more of it. I learnt that what I focus on grows, just like watering a plant, the energy you put towards anything amplifies it, so I started being very careful with my thoughts.
At the time though I didn’t know any different, all the people I was surrounding myself with, including the blogs I was reading and all of my friends, were all similarly stressed about money and working with tiny children and not making ends meet. I remember one particular conversation with a friend of mine who said “one day all this hard work will pay off…..won’t it?”
What does simple abundance actually mean to you?
I highly value abundance. For me simple abundance is about recognising and being present with the fact that in each moment we are truly abundant in so many ways.
Today as an example, my husband and I were talking about how grateful we are that we have really good roads to drive on. I am grateful for an amazing handmade berry ice-cream that I bought today, I’m grateful that my children say they love each other, I’m grateful for all the opportunities that flood into my life each and every day.
Simple abundance for me is noticing abundance is all around and being truly grateful for what I already have.
You’re a trained florist and obviously have an eye for detail, design and beauty – but so many women think that means spending a lot and having a lot. But honouring simple abundance doesn’t mean compromising on beauty, does it?
Absolutely, it’s something you can find in a single stem of magnolia from the next door neighbours big tree placed in a tall glass bottle from the op shop.
You can honour simple abundance by pouring yourself a bath, lighting a candle, and adding some epsom salts to your bath and some drops of your favourite essential oil.
If we don’t slow down enough to take the time to pick a flower for the table or run ourselves a bath, then we’re missing a huge portion of what’s beautiful in our lives already and what’s available to us right now.
Slowing down and noticing helps me to see that I am truly surrounded by everything I really need in every moment. And by noticing and focussing more on it, I call more of it to me. The more gratitude and presence and awareness I have for the abundance already in my life calls more things to be grateful for to me. So it’s imperative that as Mama’s we take many moments throughout the day to stop and notice the little things that are so important to us, they are already there it’s just when we are rushing through our days, or stressed or distracted we don’t see them.
What is your life like now?
Oh my life is so different now, I start my day with my gratitude and manifestation practice with a divine coffee with ground beans from our favourite coffee house then meditation and yoga, my herbs and a healthy breakfast.
I spend my days as I please, no 2 days are the same, I’ve spent my time in the 9-5 daily grind and I’m loving being in flow with what arises and being flexible for my children.
At night after the children are in bed I sit down at my desk for a couple of hours working in my business helping other Mama’s to have what I have. I’ve been lucky enough to be invited to share on stage my story several times lately, so that other Mama’s might see how there is another way of being in the world where we can thrive not just survive.
What do you consider the key lessons have been on this journey?
The lessons of your thoughts become your reality, honouring the abundance that is already present with mindfulness and gratitude have all been key lessons and such blessings that I can now pass these things onto my children in the hope that the work that I have done on my own abundance will be a gift and a blessing in their life.
And what does being a Happy Mama mean to you now?
A Happy Mama is a mama that is honouring abundance throughout the day, and being grateful for and expanding all those little moments that don’t cost a thing.