If you’ve found yourself pushing and striving to get through each day, you may be living your life in your masculine energy.
Balancing motherhood with modern life seems to require a certain amount of super powers: super organised, super energetic, super calm in the face of chaos. But despite what we’ve been brought up to believe, multi-tasking ourselves into exhaustion each day is not the way it’s meant to be.
Let’s put it this way:
Waking up thinking about your to-do list doesn’t feel great, does it? You know you’re rushing the kids through the morning routine, never feeling like you’re actually present with them, but how else can you get through it?
The answer is in understanding the different energies within us, and what their real purpose is. As women of the ‘you can do anything a man does’ generation, from the moment we could understand the difference between the sexes, we have been taught to get out there and hold our own. Climb that ladder; be independent. That’s how we were going to succeed in this world.
A world that revolves around masculine energy.
When we say masculine energy, we’re not talking about the energy of men: masculine energy is the yang to the feminine yin. It’s the drive and determination to do that, when in balance, works with the feminine drive to nurture and be. When we start to understand the difference between the two, and how important it is to ‘switch’ between the energies, we can start to see that for many of us, our lives are lived in the masculine. Which is why we feel so disconnected, rushed, and far removed from the loving, calm woman we long to be.
So what does the divine feminine really mean? Is it all about separating from the masculine? Or is it, in fact, a returning to an ancient understanding about the two sexes and their energies?
Understanding the masculine and feminine
In Doreen Virtue’s ‘Don’t Let Anything Dull Your Sparkle’ (a title which does not reflect the extensive research Doreen has done into post traumatic stress, adrenal fatigue and the old patterns that are keeping us stuck in negative cycles), she explains the feminine and masculine qualities as ‘bright’ or ‘dark’: bright is when it’s balanced and in flow, dark is, of course, when it’s out of whack.
When our masculine energy is not balanced, we are competitive, prone to lack mentality (believing that there isn’t enough for everyone), quick-tempered, bossy and rude, pessimistic, sarcastic, and critical. When our masculine energy is bright and balanced, however, we are motivated, enthusiastic, optimistic, inspiring, and happy. It’s when we are on top of what we need to do, and feel in the flow of our dreams and life.
Feminine energy, on the other hand, is all about nurturing and connecting. When it is out of balance, we can be jealous, self-absorbed, possessive, nervous and anxious, insecure, gossipy and irritable. But balance that beautiful feminine Yin energy, and you will feel nurturing, compassionate, joyful, forgiving, creative, patient and attentive. Interestingly, organised is a feminine quality – so being on top of the meal plans and kids’ activities is a divinely feminine activity, when done with love and gratitude.
It’s not just you – the whole world is shifting to the feminine
In her latest book ‘Rise Sister Rise’, author Rebecca Campbell tells us that the world as a whole is starting to awaken from the era of patriarchy and masculine rule.
“Right now we are in a transition period between the ages.” Rebecca writes. “In the process of allowing the old cycle to fall away and the new to rise. As with any kind of change, making the transition isn’t easy. The things that once served us are falling away. Anything inauthentic is unable to survive.”
The old ways of just pushing through are no longer working – our bodies are breaking, our relationships are shattering, and we can feel that what we are doing is just not right. For some mamas, it’s their body that first calls them to change their ways. For others, it’s the deep feeling that there has to be something bigger than this. However you are heeding this change, know that it is not just you. After decades of believing we can ‘have it all’, we’re awakening to the realisation that while we need to move into the masculine energy at times, it is our feminine energy that is really needed now.
Being ‘masculine’ is not all bad
This is not to say we don’t need the Yang to our Yin. In fact, we all need to be able to step into our male energy when we need it. The key here is knowing when that’s necessary and when it’s time to flick the switch back to feminine.
“The point is for us to be fully human and fully divine,” says Meggan Watterson, author of ‘Reveal’ and ‘How To Love Yourself’. “It’s not that we’re supposed to always be in this place of “Ahhhhhhh” and radiating light. We’re not meant to be this zen mama even when our child throws up on our feet and we burn the pizza because we were trying to write down something that we heard from within us. We’re supposed to be human – both light and dark. It’s the whole point – to love ourselves fiercely.”
And to realise that the way we have been doing it for centuries is no longer serving us. We can see it in our health, our relationships and how we are with our children.
It’s time to slow down, honour the process, and find the joy in being a woman again.
It’s a huge shift – to move from what we have been taught about being ‘strong’, and instead connecting to a much more fierce strength: that of the feminine.