Are you truly accepting of your role in life right now?
Of course I know I’m a mama.
The endless overnight wakings alone makes that pretty clear.
But for a very long time, I don’t think I truly accepted what motherhood meant to my life.
I didn’t accept that it meant putting something on hold, and surrendering to a different pace.
I pushed back on the idea that I couldn’t do it all, or that my plans had to change.
I even ignored the reality of broken sleep, three pregnancies and three births, breastfeeding and carrying babies on my hip for years.
Because in my mind, mamahood was going to fit in with my current life.
Even before I become a mama, I was determined to still be me. The only thing was – I actually didn’t know who the real ‘me’ was. I thought I did – I thought I was the journalist, the girl who wore big earrings and high heels even when everyone else was in flats and jeans, the writer and the yogi.
That’s who I thought I was. And of course, I didn’t think that had to change just because of a baby or two.
But denial breeds burn out.
When we’re not acknowledging the reality of our current situation – whether it be our health, our finances or our relationships – we’re denying the lesson. We’re not allowing ourselves to be fully present, nor are we letting ourselves grow.
And so, I burnt out. I pushed myself so hard trying to still be that superwoman-mama-journalist-chic that I made myself sick, and made the lives of my loved ones miserable.
Until, I couldn’t anymore.
And once I started to piece myself and my world back together again, I realised that at the very core of my denial was my lack of understanding that our lives move in cycles. We have seasons in life. Especially as woman.
We have a season of independence, then we have a season of partnership.
We have a season of career, then we have a season of home.
We have a season of loving being an extrovert, and then we have a season when all we want to do is stay home.
This is our natural flow of life – and yet, I believe the biggest lie we are told as women is that we need to be the same every single day, 365 days a year.
Are you trying to be the same, no matter what’s going on in your life right now, mama?
Are you hanging onto who you think you should be – parts of a season past – rather than truly accepting where you are right now?
Once I finally let go of that old Superwoman addiction and accepted that, for now, my life is about my children, my health and doing work that fills me up (rather than completely drain me), I could truly surrender to the blessings.
There is so much joy in slowing down and not endlessly chasing that dream right now.
There is so much freedom in allowing yourself to just do what is needed, and focus on your family.
In each season of our life, there is a gift waiting to be taken. Sure, the excitement of the busy successful seasons can feel like the fun of a new summer, but winter brings it’s own joy too: snuggling up under blankets on the couch and warm nourishing food.
I now know that this season will pass, and before long I will be back in the buzz of ambition.
But for now, I can finally accept that this is not my time to take on the world. That season will come – but for now, I’m happy.