What if you’re so busy doing, you don’t notice your dreams coming true?
I wrote it on the plane, flying back from Darwin, my baby asleep on my lap.
Darwin always has the same effect on me – it sparks my creativity, pushing me to put pen to paper and get clear on my dreams. Perhaps it’s the heat, perhaps it’s the pace of life there, and maybe it’s got a little something to do with being back with my parents again and feeling safe, but my big ideas seem to come from that place – including this online magazine.
And so after another week of Darwin-healing, there I was, trying to balance my journal on the fold-down tray without waking my 18 month old, writing my big vision for my life.
Based on a manifesting exercise I’d read about, it was a journal entry I dated one year ahead, describing my ideal life. It went on for pages and pages, the words flowing out of me as I could see in my mind’s eye how it would all come together.
I was in Bali, with my laptop, writing and working on my next book, with the kids swimming around me. It didn’t feel like work, it just felt like the most amazing blessing – to be able to ‘work’ this way, in paradise, with my family right there with me. I could feel the heat on my skin, I could smell the misty rain that had cleared from earlier that day, I could hear their little giggles. It was green and lush, not beachy: as if I was in the tropical mountains, tucked away in our own little retreat. Dark wood, green mountains, warm air.
There were many more specific details about the how, when, who, and what, but at the heart of it – I was on holiday, doing what my soul craves most, while my family benefitted from my success and ability to travel anywhere.
Now, if I was writing one of those ‘secrets to your dream life’ guides, this is when I would write that exactly one year later, on that exact date, I looked up from my laptop to the lush hills of Bali and smiled to myself. It had all come true.
That’s what all the manifesting blogs, books, movies and instagram posts would have you believe, right?
But that’s not what happened. Even though I’d done what those step-by-step guides tell you to do to make ‘all your dreams come true’, it didn’t happen. In fact, I wasn’t anywhere near a pool or a tropical paradise on the date I wrote, and I certainly wasn’t feeling connected to that vision. In fact, that date passed by without even realising that was meant to be THE date.
Life just kept going on.
In July this year, my father turned 70, and we all gathered from around the country in the beautiful beachside town of Palm Cove, Queensland. My little family had a hotel room back from the beach, at the base of the mountains, and each morning I would wake and push open the sliding windows and just stare at the changing hues of green as the sun woke up. The pool was just beneath the window, and the kids could run out and into the pool while I was inside without a worry. It was a little slice of heaven.
But our little family was struggling.
Having hung onto the idea of the holiday for so long, when we finally got there, things didn’t live up to our expectations. One of our daughters was really struggling with anxiety and anger, and it felt like we spent most of the time trying to contain the fall out. I even spent one rainy afternoon on the phone to a counsellor, sobbing and trying to find answers. It was far from paradise.
And I had to work. I hadn’t had time to finish everything I needed to before getting on the plane, so while the kids and my husband splashed happily in the pool below, I was upstairs taping away on my laptop.
Grateful for a business that I could do from anywhere? Not exactly. The resentment in my head was too loud to hear any gratitude.
Totally in the moment with my lush surroundings? Nope. All I could see was a family broken.
I was so focused on how hard it was, and how different it all looked from how it ‘should’ be, that I felt stuck in anger. Angry at my husband for not fixing it all, angry at my children for not being perfect, and angry at myself that I still had to work.
A few days later, back on the plane again and flying back to Sydney, I was trying to doze while the kids watched a movie. And as I sifted and sorted through all the memories and emotions from the holiday, I suddenly had a vision flash into my mind:
My vision of Bali. That vision I’d set back in 2015. That vision of me working on my computer, overlooking the lush green gardens, with the kids in the pool. That vision I had asked the Universe for.
It looked exactly like our hotel in Palm Cove.
The mountains, the greenery, the heat, even the misty rain each morning. My laptop, the giggles of the kids in the pool. It was all there.
It had come true.
I had created that vision. But when it finally arrived, I was so stuck in my head about what it all ‘should’ feel like, I’d missed the moment. I’d totally missed how lucky I am to have been able to do exactly what I’d dreamed of. I was so beaten down by being a mother during the tough times, and being a daughter, sister, wife, aunt and friend to everyone on that trip, that I had allowed my ‘story’ to block my happiness.
That voice in my head that told me it shouldn’t look like this (because I had a very clear vision of what it SHOULD look like, thank you very much Universe) meant I had missed the whole blessing.
Here’s what I’ve learnt about manifesting the life you want:
It takes constant attention.
First, you need to pay attention to what you’re asking for. If we are to accept that our thoughts and focus create our reality (which we do accept by now, right?), then we need to make sure that we’re pretty clear about what we’re focusing on.
Ask and you shall receive. That’s how it works. Most of us know what we DON’T want, but do we know what we do?
Once you’ve got that, you then surrender the details. That’s the second step: you let it go. You trust that the Universe has taken your order and is working on it. You get specific when you first ask, and then you let the actual details go. It doesn’t have to be Bali, and it doesn’t have to be that pool, but what it does have to be is the feeling that you will receive when you get it.
And that’s what I had missed.
I’d been so focused on the what, that I’d missed the very important third step: keep focusing on the feelings that I wanted to feel.
The vision came true, but because I was so overwhelmed and tired, I couldn’t see it for what it was.
In other words, it’s not a dream come true if you are so burnt out you don’t get to notice it.
What’s the point of getting what you think you want and not being present enough to enjoy it?
Which is why the maintenance of your vision and energy is so important.
Since that moment, I’ve been determined to change two things about my life: to notice the blessings that are coming into my life, and keep my energy aligned with what I want to bring in.
In my brand new online program, you will discover how to clear your own hurt, overwhelm, burn out and disappointment that may be keeping you focused on the crappy bits. Let’s face it – mamahood can be our greatest source of joy AND our greatest source of frustration. How else could you describe the reality of a tropical paradise holiday with the most challenging parenting moments I’ve ever had other than the best of times and the worst of times!
But here’s the thing – if we choose to look at ALL OF IT through the lense of gratitude, we get to notice that our dreams might be coming true right in front of our eyes.
Which is why we start with a clearing and blessing of 2017.
Then, we’re going to get really really clear on what we’re asking for in 2018.
Yes, you will get clear on what you would like your life to feel like, but no, you will not be putting your shopping list into the Universe.
Then, we let it go.
And finally, we work on the noticing and maintaining.
Trust me when I say… we can have all that we want in life, but it takes commitment and focus. It’s not enough to just scribble the vision while nursing a baby on the plane – you need to then work on yourself to make sure your energy MATCHES the energy of your dream life, and this is how we do that.
This is a whole-year program. I have created this so you can continue to use this throughout the year, and beyond.
This is how we co-create, mamas.